A Match made in the Stars
by Bloody Penguin
Summary: Tigress faces her worst nightmare: Matchmakers. Being forced to attend a party where she is expected to find her 'soul mate', nothing could ever make this night enjoyable... could it? Like I said last time, I DONT own KFP... but I can DREAM! Review please! Helpful criticism is appreciated and welcomed! Ignore what I say in the first chapter. This one will have 4 chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Aloha all my peoples! I have come up with another KFP story, though I think this will be a two-shot. I'm really happy that lots of people liked my first KFP story (this story has nothing to do with the other one.) and it doth have encouraged me to write thou people another one! I couldn't sleep last night so this is what came out of my tired brain…. DON'T HATE ME! Until the end of this chapter, ONWARD SHADOWFAX! TO MORDOR! *gallops off on an invisible horse***

It was just a normal day in the village, the sun was shining, the breeze was nice and cool, and there hasn't been an attack in at least a day. In other words it was perfect for the striped Master. Tigress was walking in the village going to buy some chains. The old ones in the training hall had rusted and were now considered a safety hazard. Everything was normal except for the fact that almost every grown woman was staring at her with distaste, making her feel a bit uncomfortable. She bought what she needed and was about to return to the Jade Palace when she was stopped by the three most feared women in all the Valley of Peace; the three matchmakers; a pig, a sheep, and a rabbit. All in their middle ages. They glared at the Tiger Master for a while, while Tigress stood there awkwardly before the pig in the middle spoke up.

"So Tigress how are you?" She said a little too sweetly. "Fine." "Oh that's good." The three continued to stare at her. "…. Um look I'd love to stay and chat, but I need to get back to the Jade Palace." She said as she tried to scoot around them. However they moved in front of her once again. This time the sheep spoke up. "Oh what a coincidence, we are going there as well. We'll accompany you." "Oh that's really not necessary…" Tigress tried to protest but her efforts were futile.

The whole way up the stairs, the three matchmakers questioned Tigress about her future; what kind of man she is looking for, how many kids she wants, when will she give up on kung fu and start acting like a lady (This question, it took all of her will not to throw the three ladies down the steps). After the agonizing twenty-minutes it took to climb the stairs, Tigress was ready to rip her ears out. Master Shifu was at the top waiting to greet the village matchmakers. He bowed to them and welcomed them to the Jade Palace. "It is such an honor to have you here. Please come in." As he led them into the Palace, Tigress ran to the barracks, into her room, fell on the bed and screamed into her pillow. She hated matchmakers.

Po heard her muffled scream and burst through her door ready to fight the people who had her gagged. But all he saw was the back of Tigress, her tail flicking back and forth in agitation. "Uh Ti? You ok?" Po said as he sat on the foot of her bed. She flipped over and propped herself up on her elbows. "No I'm not ok! It's those matchmakers. I hate matchmakers!" She growled. "What? Why? Matchmakers are cool! They can find _anyone_ their dream person. And without someone's dream person they wouldn't get married, then they wouldn't have kids… So basically they help to populate the earth. What do you have against them?" He asked. She scoffed, "It's what _they_ have against _me_." She rolled her eyes. "They hate that I devoted myself entirely to kung fu. Leaving absolutely no time for a social or *shudder* love life. Blech! And I know exactly why they're here and I HATE it!" "What are they here for?" Po asked confused. "They're because they've never had the pleasure of torturing me by finding my 'soul mate'" "What do you mean? I thought all girls had to go to the matchmaker." "They do, however my experience barely made it past the front door." Po's face lit up, "Ooh! A story! Tell me pleeease!" "I really don't-" She was interrupted by large green panda eyes staring up at her. "Pwease?" The adorable ness was too strong even for Master Tigress. "Uhg fine…It was around 12 years ago, I was 15…."

**(12 years ago)**

"Master Oogway, why do we have to do this again? It's a waste of time and I'd much rather be training." The teenage Tigress complained as she walked next to the old turtle through the village to the Matchmaker's Hut. "Because young one." He began, "This will ensure you have a good future." "But my future is kung fu, Master. I've already devoted my life to it." She stated. "Yes, this is true, but what should you do if you were to be injured and unable to do kung fu? Hmm? Walk the streets helpless begging for money?" Tigress realized, however did not enjoy, the reasoning his statement held.

When they finally arrived to the hut, the pair entered and started to go into the place of the judgment. But before they could enter a goat stopped them. "Master Oogway, I'm sorry, but you and your student are in the wrong place." "Is this not the Matchmakers Hut?" "Well yes," she replied, "However this is the _girls _Matchmakers Hut. The boys Matchmakers Hut is down the street." Oogway chuckled. "My dear, I believe you are mistaken. I am far too old to be looking for a soul mate. Thank you anyway." He started to lead her through the door again, but once again was stopped by the woman. "Master Oogway, I understand that you yourself are not looking for a mate, however your student is in the wrong place. He needs to go to the boys Matchmakers Hut."

Tigress turned to the woman in shock. "_He?!"_ She almost shouted. "Yes, sir. You are a boy, are you not?" The goat smiled sweetly. "No! I'm NOT! I'm a GIRL!" She was steaming. "Oh, my apologizes miss….. It's just; well you look so much like a man… Are you sure you are a girl?" Oogway had to place a hand on her shoulder to stop her from lashing out. "Ma'am, I am fairly certain that one would know one's own gender. However if you are to keep persisting that you are right, then I believe we have no business here. Thank you and have a good day." He led the girl out the door and up the Palace steps. Silence passed between them, and he glanced down to see a depressed look on Tigress's face.

"Do not fret dear, matchmakers simply cannot admit to their own imperfections and she most likely thought that since you were not wearing one of those ridiculously tight dresses and ten pounds of makeup, that you were not a girl." He raised her chin to look up at him. "However, you are beautiful without that stuff and you need not worry." She smiled slightly. And the two walked up the Jade Palace, back to training.

**(Back to the present)**

"And now," Tigress continued, "Those matchmakers are here to finish what they couldn't start." She grabbed Po's shoulders and shook them. "I can't go through that! All they do is criticize you about how you look and act and what you do. Then put a crap ton of makeup on you then squeeze you into a dress that would fit a twelve year old!" She flopped back on the bed groaning. "The only thing worse than a judgment would be a-" "Matchmaking Reception ." Shifu had entered the room and Tigress bolted up with a look of terror on her face. "Master please don't tell me we-" "It has been decided" Shifu interrupted. "The Jade Palace will be hosting a Matchmaking Reception."

**I HAVE RETUUUUUURRNED! Yeah, um there is no such thing as a Matchmaking Reception to my knowledge. But basically it will be like a big party where people mingle and they see if they connect deeply with anyone. It isn't as professional and it is usually for those that never had the chance to be judged or people who the matchmakers didn't think it was possible to find a match for. Um yesh….. That is all. Review! THANKS!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Me: Halo Errbody! Sorry for not updating, I've been gone. But yesh, I'm glad so many people liked this story even though I think that Tigress seemed a little OOC to me but ya… Most of these ideas I got from Mulan but I don't own that movie either. I think that this will be a three shot actually BUT! Don't be surprised if there are only 2 chappies :3 ON WITH THE STORY!**

**(Dawn)**

Tigress's sleep was riddled with nightmares that night. Mostly about having some jerk think of her as only something to have kids with. Not allowing her to do anything but cook, clean, and have sex. "Mmm…. No… no... NO!" She awoke in a cold sweat and looked around her. She was alone, in her room in the Jade Palace. She sighed and went to open the door to go get a drink of water. However she was met with a beaming Viper and 3 smirking matchmakers. As soon as she opened it they burst in, grabbed Tigress and dragged her to the bathhouse.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" She shouted and clawed at the air. Without responding they shut the door, stripped her of her clothes and threw her in the bath. The water was ice cold and her fur did nothing to help shield her from the chill. "W-w-what's going on-n?" She shivered trying to cover herself from the 4 pairs of eyes. "We're getting you ready for the ceremony tonight!" Viper pulled her to the edge of the bath and poured scented shampoo on her head. "Usually we would wait till high noon, but you obviously need more work then we could ever get done in half a day." Miss Zhu (the pig) openly insulted Tigress and before said warrior could retort, she poured a bucket of ice water on her. "I h-h-hate you…" She muttered. "Why does this have to be so c-c-cold?" "Cold water makes your fur shine!" Viper piped up, obviously enjoying the fact that she finally got to do some 'girly' stuff with the hardcore Tigress.

**(Two hours later)**

After being bathed and dried off, Tigress was fit into a slip. **(It's a dress that you put under the real dress to keep it from bunching up) **Unfortunately, it only came down to her knees so when she was led from the bathhouse to the barracks every male she passed by gaped at her which was returned with a snarl. She walked back into her room and was placed on a stool. Miss Yáng (the sheep) appeared with large box. And when she opened it Tigress almost screamed.

It was filled with makeup. Foundations, eye shadow, blush, mascara, eyeliner (which she didn't need but they insisted) and lipstick. Viper, Miss Zhū, Miss Yáng and Miss Zhū (the bunny) grabbed a makeup brush and dipped each into a different color/product. As they brought them closer to the tiger's face, she wished she could just die.

**(3 hours later [Tigress put up a struggle and they had to re-do it again and again])**

After the makeup, Miss Tùzǐ grabbed her bag and pulled out a golden dress that would go all the way down to her feet. Tigress was appalled at the article of clothing. It was covered in….. _Flowers_! And to add insult to injury, the flowers were _pink. _ The dress itself wasn't that bad, it was sleeveless and was a wraparound **(kinda like a very big vest…) **and the edges were trimmed in soft silver.

Tigress shook her head and crossed her arms. "Nope, I am NOT wearing THAT!" "Oh yes you are." Said the pig, "It's required of every woman to wear a dress to her matchmaking." Tigress scowled, she hated matchmaking _and_ dressing up and it was bad enough she had what felt like 5 lbs. of makeup on. Thus it took all four of the females to hold her down in order to fit her into the dress.

As soon as she was squeezed into the dress, Miss Yáng pulled out a long dark magenta silk scarf. However instead of putting it around her neck, she wrapped it around her waist 3 times. "And now," she said, "To give you a figure." Tigress growled, "And what, exactly, is wrong with my figure?" "More like lack of." Said Miss Zhū grabbing the scarf as well as Miss Yáng. "It's not that your figure isn't beautiful," Viper piped up "It's just that it's meant for Kung Fu, not for…. Um…" "Being a perfect little wife for some stud who only wants a woman for their beauty and possible heirs?" She answered. Viper looked down a little sad. Was that what will happen if Tigress _were_ to get married?

**(About 10 seconds later)**

It was a peaceful afternoon in the Jade Palace, the boys were starting to get ready for the ceremony and Po was about to go down to his dad's restaurant to help him cook. Mr. Ping had volunteered to cater the Matchmaking Ceremony. It was relatively quiet when Po stepped outside to head down, however that silence was interrupted with a loud, shrieking, pain filled scream. Everyone ran back to the barracks which sounded like the source of the scream.

Right before they could throw open the door and kung fu the intruder that attacked Tigress, Miss Yáng stepped out. "Everything's all right boys, Miss Tigress is just experiencing one of the steps of the beauty process." "What step is that?" Mantis asked, "It sounds like she's being tortured!" As the groans continued to emerge from the room. "Close," She said, "Basically her core is being squeezed as tight as it can, while still allowing her to breath, to give her the _illusion _of a figure." Everyone had looks of horror on their face which slightly amused Miss Yáng. Then Po spoke up, "What's wrong with her figure?" The matchmaker gave him a look, "She is as straight as a board! No man could ever want a stick as a wife." And with that she turned and slipped back into the room. "….. _I_ like her figure." Po muttered hoping no one heard him. But that was not so. Everyone turned to stare at the panda, with a look of shock mixed with excitement. Probably because they found new black mail material. Once the panda realized they heard him he immediately turned bright red. And he stuttered to come up with an excuse. "I mean… uh- I ... it's good for kung fu and-" "Suuure Po." Monkey said smirking. And with that he ran as fast as he could back to his dads. He had to help him cook after all. : 3

**(That night, right before the Ceremony)**

The matchmakers left Tigress to be alone and so they could get ready for the ceremony. And everyone went to get ready for that night. Crane put on a deep purple vest trimmed in dark blue with gold fastens. Monkey put on a dark red vest trimmed in golden red with bronze fastens and new bronze wrist guards. Po found some less patchy crimson pants trimmed like his other ones were, with a belt of red and gold. Mantis found some light brown 'ankle' wraps and dark crimson shoes. Shifu wore what he always wore, cuz he's just like that. Deal with it. And finally viper replaced her old flowers with bright pink flowers that had long light pink ribbons hanging down from them.

Po walked back up to the Jade Palace to walk down with everyone else, and he saw everyone waiting outside the Palace doors. "Whatcha guys doing?" He asked as he went to stand beside Crane. "Waiting for Tigress," Said avian answered. As soon as they said that, the doors opened slightly and they could make out a feline silhouette in the light of the setting sun. She stepped out from the shadows and into the light and everyone gasped.

**Me: HAHA! Cliffhanger! Hope you guys liked this and it turns out it WILL be a 3 chapter, perhaps even a 4 shot…. Well I need to go change the summary… Anyway RR&F Guys! BUH BAI!**


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